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This excellent video was HUGE in the UK.
Click on the 'play' triangle and watch it.
Can you guess what it is an advert for ?
THE TWO VERY SERIOUS STAGES OF SEASICKNESS
1st STAGE - You feel there is a danger that you are going to die very soon.
2nd STAGE - You feel there is a danger that you are not going to die very soon.
sv Meander
HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR NAUTICAL TERMS ?!
Amidships - condition of being surrounded by boats.
Anchor - a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
Anchor Light - a small light used to discharge the battery before daylight.
Berth - a little addition to the crew.
Chart - a type of map which tells you exactly where you are aground.
Clew - an indication from the skipper as to what he might do next.
Dead Reckoning - a course leading directly to a reef.
Deviation - any departure from the Captain’s orders.
Displacement - when you park your boat and can’t find it later.
Estimated Position - a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.
First Mate - crew member necessary for skippers to practice shouting instructions to.
Freeboard - food and liquor supplied by the owner.
Heave-Ho - what you do when you’ve eaten too much Ho.
Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes they were not.
Mizzen - an object you can’t find.
Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers.
Swell - a wave that’s just great.
Square Rigger - a rigger over 30.
Has Alan turned into a nooooode ?!
Halloween at Yat Marine
TEN PIECES OF ADVICE TO WIVES OF CRUISING HUSBANDS WHEN GOING ASHORE FROM A PEACEFUL ANCHORAGE
1. Never waste time grooming yourself in the boat’s mirror as this will not reflect what you will look like when you step ashore.
2. Never wear anything that doesn’t look good wet aswell as dry.
3. Any hair style you create should be wind and, particularly, wave proof, as you will invariably be crouching uncomfortably at the front of the dinghy bearing the brunt of any wave action.
4. Don’t ever be tempted to rise to inquiries such as “Where are all the short skirts you used to wear when we first met?” made just before you negotiate the guard wire and a 3ft swell when dropping down into the tender.
5. No handbag of the wife of a cruising husband is complete on a run ashore without a set of keys boasting a float too big for the bag, a stainless steel padlock and torch……with spare batteries.
6. Always wear pants that are enhanced by a patch on their rear end resembling the outline of the Antarctic (or Isle of Wight for those of a more petite nature).
7. Don’t be surprised if complete strangers ask you if you live on a boat. It is unlikely they possess the psychic powers you think they are displaying. More probably they have spotted the salty sea stain on your rear.
8. Try not to laugh out loud when the captain of the tender gets a wet bum from a rogue wave appearing from nowhere. Sniggers are easily changed to sneers in the turn of a tiller.
9. When ashore never decline “one for the road”. Remember that your “road” home is likely to be wet and that extra drink will lessen the discomfort of the ride. Waves are much colder at night.
10. Never be persuaded to go ashore if you are enjoying your favourite book with a nightcap, in the warmth and comfort of your own vessel. It’s never worth it.
(sv Kluut)
jake (the secret Power Ranger)
CRUISING QUOTES
• “Sailing is the most expensive way to travel 5th class.”
• “Sailing is the quickest way to break things.”
• “Cruising is boat maintenance in exotic places”
• “BOAT stands for Bring Out Another Thousand.”
• “YACHT stands for You Are Costing Him Thousands.”
• “When is a boat a boat? A ship can carry a boat. A boat cannot carry a ship.”
• “All old engines sweat a bit.”
(sv Kluut) Anyone got anymore?
